Don't Stop me Now

I’ve noted, many of those who visit this web page and my followers in the various social networks accessed from countries where Spanish is not spoken and although my English is very poor, for not to say that sucks and a bit more. Anyway, I hope you like and above all, manage to read. If you have any comments or suggestions, leave it in the commentary box and above all, do not forget this was a job for a conceptual book.

* Story published in the anthology "The Dead Rockers Society" by Café Literario Publishing House

I’m the master of toys

And all you, girls and boys,

Are welcome to my wonderland.

I’m the angel of joy

and I’m here to paint the void.

Welcome to my world,

to my dream factory.

Avantasia-The toy master

It was more than Rogatian could tolerate. No more than a month he tried to hang by the neck with a necktie in the shower of his house, but when the pain was insufferable and the view is clouded over, only for survival instinct managed to untie the knot in his neck. No that afternoon, he had it all ready and there was no turning back. Ruvalcaba Rogatian was a Heavy, a Headbanger, a Metalhead “to the bones” and while listening the song he considered homonym: The Toy Master from the third album of Avantasia, he remembered all his life before giving it up. A long and sad movie running in instants while injecting twenty milliliters of pure Novocaine in the cephalic vein. This occasion will not allow something as absurd as physical pain prevented him from meet its goal of fade out this world.

His love life had been a failure, like all he had done, thought or tried to do: he tried be a musician “singing” in Death Metal band and all failed because of a “problem of skirts”, tried be a painter and even has talent, it is impossible to "eat" of that profession in Mexico. Fell in love with Mary, she was a younger than him, only had one defect: she was married. Also fell in love with Ursula, equally she was younger than he, they had a little girl, only in the medium pregnancy period Glory appeared in his life. Both fall in love.

Five years of relationship with Ursula had turned insupportable and the little Abigail came a little late. Rogatian leaves Ursula and the unborn Abigail for loving Gloria; everything was fine the first two years: passion and spilled honey to worldwide; however his perspective, Glory turned out to be "like beans, crumpled to first boil". Not that Rogatian was a “sweet pear”: almost manic depressive, jealous, insecure and compulsive smoker… but knew how to love, with the passion and dedication of an authentic warrior, a warrior that was delivered to Glory unarmored. If he had been a professional wrestler, could have said that front of her, “He lost Hair and Mask ". Karma was claiming back with interest worthy of World Bank and The International Monetary Fund as a bodily. That does not matter at all for while Rogatian was about to kill himself, Glory drank coffee with a man whom she met on the Internet. Life had not offered anything and did not intend to wait to deign to repay it somehow, either continue to receive crumbs of love.

Listening to his beloved Metal, the only thing about the world had never left him alone. While Novocaine takes effect, listen to songs like Black Chamber by Blind Guardian, Heal Me of Gamma Ray and Hazme un Sitio Entre tu Piel by El Mägo de Oz; he was lost and defeated in the black chamber, no one can heal him or who would make a site between the skin.

A Punk good old-fashioned thought -There's no future- Only have remorse of conscience never having attended a concert of Blind Guardian and a little not take Abigail to the chapel. Wobbly comes once more time to the shower, environment his last minutes with Painkiller by Judas Priest, Death version and when sounding the last riff, Rogatian also gave his last breath, this time without any pain, or remorse and satisfied to die like a star that never shine.

.·.

For some strange reason opened his eyes, he scary to look back and see his body hanged by the neck with the tongue out, his eyes in blank and a viscous stain on his jeans at the height of the genitals that grew larger with each passing endless instants. Contemplated himself with curiosity, fear passed and became resignation, sighed and stood said aloud:

-Well, have to start with the eternal wandering reserved for suicidal-

Left the bathroom, crossed his room and headed towards the backyard, somehow feels less weight, although tired. He opened the door, it was strange, it is all the same, the gardener, the white Volkswagen model 97, until garbage cans, as if nothing had happened, however by the window he could see clearly his lifeless body.

The doorbell rang and Rogatian without reasoning that "it was not there," said:

-I'm going!-

He came to the door, tried to open and his hand went through the lock, he leans back smiling and what he saw when he turned whatsoever was not surprised:

Four hooded black silhouettes wait with patience, one supported in the old “Vocho”, one sitting on the stairs, another on the floor and the last, the thinnest and low in stature standing in the middle of the courtyard.

-Do you think did the right thing? - asked this last with a soft and beautiful voice.

-I did what I wanted and if it was my will, was the right thing-

The hooded man who was sitting on the stairs laughed and replied:

-Liber Al Vel Legis. Aiwass word is not unknown to me-

All were erected, they walked towards and surrounded him forming a cross with Rogatian at the center.

-We come for you! To take you to the place where our own kind rested and are full extent free, far away from the flesh chains and this world ruled by Sabaōth- said one of those who had remained in silence with a raspy and dissonant voice. The last, the quietest of all, extended his hand pointing toward the wall.

The cement flattened and the paint began to lay off a dim light which it was enlarged until the point being blinded.

.·.

When Rogatian opened his eyes heartfelt rested and relaxed, thought about it when a voice behind he said:

-That, good friend, is the unequaled sensation to discard the flesh, I also search it like you and just I was a little more… "Exhibitionist" and throws me to the underground railway in my country-

Find strange, Rogatian turns around and almost had a heart attack... if not for already be dead; Ingo Schwichtenberg, the Helloween ex- drummer was sitting under the shade of a tree.

-What are you doing here?- asked the suicidal to the other imbalanced.

-Well I felt alone, not bear to the loss of my father, also not being fired from the band, so I decided die out- Ingo replied stillness -Go ahead the trail, someone else awaits you. See you later-

.·.

Without a moment hesitation the words of the legendary drummer and his hero, Rogatian began its journey in the direction indicated. It was a path of upturned earth and hot which seen many traces of heavy boots. He looked up and saw a group of black clouds they neared threatening. On one side of the path there was a man of black and curled hair, tall, thin, with tattoos on his arms; he was wearing a leather vest, cased jeans and worn tennis, the classic stereotype of lazy in the early 70's in the twentieth century, he conversed with another man, with appearance of Hippie, chubby, of wide and strong arms.

Bon Scott and John “Bonzo” Bonham shared a Jack Daniels bottle in a brotherly conversation when they saw Rogatian and they headed to him. Being in front of them and recognize Rogatian smiled, looked on the path route and said:

-This can’t be, I don’t kill myself and are only effects of Novocain put up a "bad trip"-

-You’re mistaken, you're just dead as my friend Bonzo, Charles Baudelaire and I-

-Don’t suck! You died before I born-

-Yes and he too- replied Bonzo -Our thing it was an accident-

-But a happy accident that has turned us in legends- Bon Scott replied with a smile and taking a long gulp of whiskey bottle -Our graves now are cultural heritage; our detractors must be spinning in their cottony clouds by the courage-

-If they could still shitting, would suffer from diarrhea- Jhon said laughingly -Continues your way, find someone special that you, awaits further on-

-Who is it? - Rogatian asked curious.

-Only I can tell you is someone who really sang, not like me- answered Bon Scott, he took another deep sip of the bottle and handed to Bonzo. Rogatian sighed when saying goodbye to Bon Scott and John Bonham.

-I'd like to talk a little more with them- thought -Know its outlook on life would be fairly interesting-

.·.

Rogatian continued to walk long time bathing in the water of the storm. He wept unable to say goodbye to the pains and sorrows that had plagued him until the end of his life, however, it is received at the entrance of hell for some of their heroes had earned his holocaust. He not was a neophyte in terms of Rock refers and when he reached the wall announcing the legend "Abandon all hope who enters this place” associating with the mythology of "The Cursed People" and obviousness with The Divine Comedy. The very slim hooded and the first to speak when he died was waiting at the gates of the abyss. Rogatian smiled, there was no doubt it was only a matter of confirming to hear the voice that never would equal either on earth, either in heaven... or hell.

-Hi dear!- said whereas the hood off his face -Your welcome!-

Rogatian placed his right knee on the ground, lowered his eyes, with hard and solemnity exclaiming a powerful battle cry:

-God save the queen!-

Freddie Mercury looked young and athletic, there was at any sign of his terrible illness, was shaved, long black hair reached his shoulders; completely stripped the hood that covered his body revealing a simple white pants adjusted and a black cotton shirt. He approached the newcomer and extended the long and delicate hand to help him to get stand up.

-Do you know that might be taken as a homophobic comment? - Freddie answered with its charismatic and particular smile.

Rogatian relies shyly on the Rock Star hand and blushed of shame said:

-I’m so sorry!- dropped gaze realizing look straight his face -I think it's time to fulfill what I said some time ago-

Bewildered, the magnificent singer asked:

-What did you say?-

-Well, on one occasion, whereas I got drunk with friends listening to Queen I told: If I had known Freddy Mercury "I suck his cock" so sir, get off the zipper-

Freddie Mercury gave a loud laugh and giggled long time, while Rogatian kept solemn silence and despite everything, ready to keep his promise to air.

-Do not worry, honey- Freddy answered and grinned roguishly -I do not want at this moment, maybe later-

The suicidal could not avoid make a grimace at the same time of relief -No Fart! A promise is a promise- told himself.

-Before you reach the end abode tell me, Why did you do it?- asked Freddy with the unique tone of voice quiet and soft.

-Wherefore I’m cowardly and weak, I can’t stand the pain of life, the sorrow of love, well as being loved and not be able reciprocate. The failure in everything, materially, mentally and especially in spiritual-

-Do not it was cowardice- Freddy answered in friendly and conciliatory tone -It was a lapse of madness and despair because of the pain, survival instinct as paradoxical as it is heard-

- I know something about your life and I know you can understands me-

-Yes, I also suffered too much for love and the two ways you mention. My beloved Mary Austin endured everything to beside me, my pain of love, of loneliness, the mask should to hold as a public image against a repressive and hypocritical society. This beautiful woman tolerate me everything and never replied. She loves me like no one loved me, but I could not agree-

-That is terrible, a hideous pain, more than to feel the neck breaking or die for suffocation-

-It hurts to so much as dying from Bronchopneumonia- Freddy smiled bitterly and continued -I went a man of excesses, I be lying if deny having abused alcohol and hard drugs, also I abused of sex. But do you know what? I do not meant a deliberate promiscuity, just a little love unfeigned, both physical and feelings-

-I comprehend- answered Rogatian -Maybe our preferences may be different, but as humans beings seek the same thing-

-There is the problem!- interrupted Mercury -People like you and me, do not fit within the human society. Our sensitivity leads us away from the cold and vacuum which infects society... It is the collective A.I.D.S. of all mankind. It seems that the entire species is infected with this, it is sad but the epidemic is spreading in ours, in "The Cursed People" -

-Exist a cure for this terrible infirmity?-

-Maybe yes, when in reality all understand that love is not only receive, if not also give. Mourn that does not represent weakness, to understand that though individuality is essential for the existence, happiness is to share the beauty that exists within each one, no hatred or pride, not the ambition and hypocrisy, is the joy of living and sincerity of the human, as it was told Jesus Christ, Krishna and so many others-

-Throw out haughtiness and foolish pride… and think that nobody deserves you-

-Or otherwise, believe you do not deserve anyone. At some point I came to feel as well because of the taboos of society in which I lived, luckily times have changed a great deal within a matter of sexual freedom but broke out the pride, apathy and indifference. The woman was released from the chains maleness and turned cruel-

-But that does not take away the beauty- Rogatian replied wistfully.

-I not judge to Ingo neither you so made, did the right thing for them, their time came at that moment, however if had lived one more day and they had realized that it they still love, even if had a broken heart and shattered mind, the simple fact to find out that loved somebody could have made their gray lives will be painted of colors-

-Believe me, I tried but before long back the pain increasingly louder-

-Yes, I understand- Freddy gave him a big squeeze on the shoulder -There are times in life where stay ravaged by an endless number of situations, disappoint all because it seems to you can do not continue and you are not what others think or assume that you are-

-It is worse when think about the person you love, your partner or whoever you fall in love with boundless passion- Rogatian continued -Raining tears from your eyes and there is no one to dry, do not even who gave a handkerchief, do not even a word of comfort-

-It is terrible dear. The fact feel you far away from home, alone, although sleep in your bed- Freddy lowered his head saddened, as if remembering something too sour -You are wondering: What I did wrong? And you realize it that too much love will kill you, if you do not clear your mind and put the feet on the earth-

Rogatian raised his face, take a deep breath and gave a fraternal hug to the legend.

-There are some who never find the exit for that. The question is: Is it worthwhile to stop loving just because it hurt?-

-Being honest darling, I have the firm conviction than by love is worth losing power, to crawl, supplicate and shriek, either only by a look or a kiss... or for the simple reason to know what it is love-

-If not hurt does not work, is not real-

-Follow me- Freddy said stepping forward until arriving at a few meters from the black and cold gates of hell which Dante described in excessive detail, he pointing upwards, toward the towers guarding the entrance -Going through this doors, no longer shall save you, inward, none shall tuck up you, will no longer have more tears with which cry-

-Now I’m here, I teased. Maybe not even my nightmares approaches a little to what awaits me inside but I’m willing to go, I would rather burn all eternity in hell to continue suffering hunger for love-

-Dear- Freddy headed to Rogatian softly -Would you be willing to erase everything and start again?-

-Not today, today all that love is lost. I don’t want to live, I don’t want freedom! Not worth living with a broken heart. I know, I have only the guilt-

-Do not you feel so bad, win or lose, is the risk you take in love, the truth is that it can happen to anyone; there are people everywhere searching and can do not find ever-

-It seems that everything is decided for people like us-

Freddy smiled, turned his back on Rogatian and pushes the hellish doors while to their last questions:

-Who dares to love forever when love is dead?-

-I dare- Rogatian answered with a firmness that he was unaware of himself.

-Are you willing to dry your tears and those of others with your lips, to keep on loving and turn to love?- Freddy asked as darkness was the only thing visible to the front.

-Yes I am, whenever I look back and see what I've done, I don’t regret it, Whatever I've done for love!-

-Who wants to live forever?-

Rogatian stepped into the darkness without even doubting it and when he passed beside Farrokh Bulsara, screaming with all the strength of his spirit:

-If is for love, yes, I want to live forever!-

.·.

Rogatian opened his eyes. It was a dark and warm place, he feels peaceful and protected, comforted; while near him, it sounded Blind Guardian version of Spread Your Wings, forgetting all the pain in the belly of Abigail, willing and waiting patiently, filled with so much love that someday kill him again, looking for someone to save him, searching for somebody to love, without fear, without pressure or haste, because the show must go on being he an immortal.